As parents, we often strive to ensure our children get a good night's sleep. One popular method to facilitate this is by establishing a wind-down routine before bedtime. These routines are touted as essential for setting the stage for a restful night's sleep, but it's important to understand that while they can be beneficial and supportive, they don't guarantee a perfect night’s rest. In this blog, I cover what a wind-down routine can include, and why it might not always lead to improved sleep for your child.
What Makes Up an Effective Wind-Down Routine?
A wind-down routine is something that is done before bed, at nap time and night time to help wind-down and relax the child’s body and mind to make settling easier. It is a sequence of events, consisting of verbal and non-verbal signs, which tells a child that bedtime is approaching and helps to set the stage for sleep.
The wind-down routine before a nap does not need to be any longer than 5-10 minutes, whilst the wind-down routine before bed should be implemented within 30-60 minutes before bedtime, and it can be helpful to be the same process each evening.
If a wind-down routine is something you would like to implement or continue, the routine should be soothing, calm and quiet and it can be as simple as closing the curtains, having a milk feed, then a nappy change, being swaddled or being placed in a sleeping bag, turning on white noise, having a cuddle for a few minutes, and then implementing your settling approach.
At bedtime, the wind-down routine can be longer so in addition to the components listed above, it can also include other elements like quiet play, bath, reading stories, singing, baby massage etc. If a child takes a long time to wind-down and settle, a quiet cuddle with them for 5-10 minutes in the dark to before commencing the settling approach, can really help. Oh, and a quick tip, is to spend 10 minutes outside before any sleep window to really get that last burst of serotonin which quickly converts to melatonin at night.
A little mantra which is repeated at every bedtime, such as ‘It’s sleepy time now, Mummy loves you’, just as your little one is being placed in the cot is very beneficial. The sequence of words will become very familiar to your child and will help them recognise that it is sleep time.
Tips for an Effective Wind-Down
Here’s a look at some components that can be included in your wind-down routine:
Bath Time: A warm bath can be soothing and helps lower the body’s temperature afterward, which might promote relaxation and make falling asleep easier. But do keep in mind that many babies are overstimulated with bath time, and this can really heighten their behaviour. If your child becomes over-excited at bath time, try skipping this and offering a bath at an earlier time.
Relaxing Activities: Incorporating calming activities, such as reading a favourite book, listening to soft music, or engaging in gentle play, can help signal to the child that it’s time to wind down.
Bedtime Stories: Reading a story can be a peaceful way to transition from the hustle and bustle of the day to a more relaxed state, helping children wind down emotionally and mentally.
Comfortable Environment: Ensuring your child’s sleep environment is conducive to rest, with dim lighting, a comfortable bed, and an appropriate room temperature, contributes to a calming bedtime atmosphere.
Avoiding Stimulating Activities: In the hour leading up to bedtime, it’s beneficial to avoid high-energy activities and screens. These can be overstimulating and make it harder for children to settle down.
Consistent Bedtime: A regular bed time helps regulate a child’s internal clock. Consistency provides a sense of security and sets expectations for sleep.
The Reality Check
While a wind-down routine is a helpful tool in preparing children for bed, it’s important to recognise that it doesn’t always guarantee a perfect night’s sleep. In fact, a wind-down routine will not make or break the success of your child’s night sleep. This is because most challenges that children experience with sleep, is not related to the way their pre-bedtime routine is executed. Sleep difficulties are not usually superficial, rather than are a much more complex issue.
So whilst a wind-down routine before bed can help set the stage for sleep, it will not naturally improve bedtime or overall night sleep. This is helpful to know so if there are any nights where you are running behind schedule, you are too tired, or the repetitiveness of night sleep is too much one particular night, then if you decide to skip a beat, you won’t hinder anything about your child’s sleep.
Embracing Flexibility
The key to managing bedtime effectively is to embrace flexibility. While a wind-down routine can help create a positive sleep environment and offer structure, it’s also important to remain adaptable. Here are some tips to balance routine with flexibility:
Adjust as Needed: If a particular routine isn’t working, don’t be afraid to tweak it. Try different activities, adjust the timing, or change the order of the routine.
Stay Calm: If bedtime doesn’t go as planned, try to remain calm and patient. Stress and anxiety about sleep can sometimes make it harder for children to settle down. Additionally, your child will emulate how you feel, so if you’re feeling rushed or triggered, chances are they will too!
Monitor Sleep Patterns: Pay attention to your child’s sleep patterns and make adjustments based on their needs. Sometimes minor changes can make a big difference. Adequate awake time before bed is an important factor. Grab your free copy of my sleep schedules here:
Encourage Independence: In some cases, helping your child develop self-settling abilities can really help with bedtime settles. Parents can often offer too much assistance or interaction at bedtime, which can actually have a negative effect on children. This can lead to overstimulation, which makes for a harder bedtime.
Dig Deeper: If nothing seems to be working, and your child’s settling and resettling abilities are limited, then your next step will be to dig deeper. Exploring what is interrupting the natural biological ability to achieve sleep is key to healthy sleep habits. If you would like to address this avenue, you can start with downloading your free copy of my Underlying Issues Check List:
Conclusion
Overall, a wind-down routine can be a valuable tool in preparing children for bedtime and fostering a relaxing sleep environment. However, it’s essential to understand that it doesn’t hold a magic key to perfect sleep. Sleep quality is influenced by a myriad of factors, and sometimes even the most well-structured routine may not bring the desired results.
By embracing a comforting bedtime atmosphere, you can support your child’s sleep needs while maintaining realistic expectations about what a wind-down routine can achieve.
If you want some more strategies and ideas on improving bedtime, be sure to grab yourself a copy of my free Better Bedtimes PDF:
Otherwise, if you'd like some professional guidance and support to improve your child's sleep through one on one help, please book in for a free Discovery Call to connect with me and learn more about how I can help:
Shereen Nielsen xx
I'm Shereen Nielsen, a certified Sleep Consultant specialising in infants and children from birth to 15 years old. With over eight years of experience, I've assisted over 4000 families in achieving better sleep. Additionally, I serve as a lecturer and mentor, guiding aspiring sleep consultants on their path to certification through my internationally recognised online Sleep Consultant Course.
Phone: +61419820474
Email: hello@shereennielsen.com
Website: www.shereennielsen.com
Facebook: @shereennielsen.sleepconsultant
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