Do you often face the nightly challenge of your child taking an extended period of time to fall asleep? Does your child often find excuse after excuse just to delay and avoid bedtime? This is a common presentation in children which is referred to as delayed sleep onset .
Although common, it’s not biologically normal for a child to have such difficulty falling asleep at the desired bedtime, and this leads to frustration for both the child and the parents. In an ideal world, it should take less than 30 minutes for a child to fall asleep at bedtime. Anything less than 5 minutes, and your child is likely extremely overtired and in a realm of sleep debt, but anything more than 30 minutes, and your child’s biological ability to fall asleep within a reasonable time frame is likely due to one of many cases.
If you’re struggling with the battles that come with delayed sleep onset with your child, then you will find all the information you need in this blog where we will explore what delayed sleep onset is, why many children struggle to fall asleep at bedtime, and some effective strategies to help mitigate this issue.
What is Delayed Sleep Onset?
Delayed sleep onset refers to a situation where a child consistently takes longer to fall asleep after going to bed. This can result in insufficient sleep, affecting the child's mood and behaviour. Unlike occasional difficulty falling asleep, delayed sleep onset is a persistent problem that can interfere with a child's daily routine and well-being. It can also affect the child’s perception on bedtime and sleep, leading to anxieties at bedtime, which can lead to disruptions in family bonds.
Why Do Children Find it Hard to Fall Asleep at Bedtime?
There are several reasons why children may struggle with delayed sleep onset:
Inconsistent Sleep Routines: One of the most common causes is irregular sleep schedules. When children do not have a consistent bedtime routine, or consistent wake time in the morning, their bodies do not receive the signals needed to wind down and prepare for sleep.
Over tiredness: If a child has not had enough sleep leading up to bedtime, they will be over tired and this triggers a flow on effect. Over tiredness leads to a rise in cortisol, which furhter triggers adrenlin to be released into the system. Adrenalin makes us feel active, ready to go and full of energy. Add this to bedtime and you can see exactly how your child may be too full of energy to fall asleep.
Imbalanced Sleep/Wake Schedule: If a child does not have adequate day sleep balance, and there is an insufficient awake period leading up to bed time, this can affect their ability to fall asleep as they will be under tired. When there is a lack of awake time before bed, they haven’t build enough sleep pressure to support falling asleep.
Excessive Stimulation: Activities that stimulate the brain, such as screen time close to bedtime, can make it harder for children to fall asleep. Also, the blue light emitted by screens can interfere with the production of melatonin, the hormone that regulates sleep, therefore making it harder for your child to fall asleep.
Anxiety and Stress: Children, like adults, can experience anxiety and stress that keep them awake at night. This can be due to school pressures, social issues, or even changes within the family. But a leading cause of anxiety at bedtime, is the inability to fall asleep in the first place, along side the pressure from parents to “hurry up and fall asleep”. Placing pressure on children to fall asleep can actually have the reverse effect.
Lack of Physical Activity: Children who do not engage in sufficient physical activity during the day may have excess energy at bedtime, making it harder to settle down and fall asleep.
Underlying Issues: Underlying issues are the second leading cause behind delayed sleep onset. Conditions which are typically physiological, medical or nutritional in natural, can contribute to difficulties in falling asleep. You can read more about Underlying Issues in the blog: Underlying Issues Affecting Children's Sleep
Strategies to Address Delayed Sleep Onset
You should probably be able to now identify what is triggering delayed sleep onset for your child, and I have given a list of strategies that you can use to work towards reducing the time it takes for your child to fall asleep at bedtime.
Establish a Consistent Routine: Create a predictable sleep routine by following a set bed time and wake time. Consistent sleep windows support the circadian rhythm (internal body clock) to know when the body should be awake and when it should be asleep, helping with your child’s ability to fall asleep at bedtime
Reduce Over tiredness: If you’re not sure if your child is over tired, head on over to my resource: How Much Sleep Does Your Child Need and ensure your child is having enough sleep in the 24 hour period. If your child is over tired, you will to increase their sleep during the day to reduce the adrenalin release associated with over tiredness.
Balanced Sleep/Wake Schedule: To support your child through falling asleep easier and quicker at bedtime, you should ensure that they have sufficient awake time leading up to bed time. A solid schedule each day will build their predictability in sleep patterns, balancing the sleep pressure to enable them to fall asleep quicker each night. If you want access to my sleep schedules, you can download your free copy of my Day Sleep Guide:
Reduce Stimulation: I always recommend reducing the exposure to screens at least an hour before bedtime, although 2 hours is ideal. Melatonin production starts around 2 hours before the usual establishment of sleep onset so if you can eliminate screens within this time, it will help with your child falling asleep at bedtime. Alternatively, you should encourage activities that promote relaxation instead, such as reading a book, or spending one on one time
Address Anxiety and Stress: If your child is old enough, try talking to your child during the day about any worries they may have and practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or mindfulness exercises. A calm and clearer mind can facilitate easier sleep. Additionally try to rephrase your words at bedtime to remove any pressure your child may feel about the ability to fall asleep. Rather than use phrases such as, “go to sleep”, you should use words which facilitate your child to fall asleep, such as, “it’s bedtime” or “close your eyes”.
Promote Physical Activity: Encourage regular physical activity during the day to help expend energy and promote better sleep at night. You should also try to avoid vigorous exercise close to bedtime.
Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Ensure your child's bedroom is conducive to sleep by keeping it dark, cool, and quiet. Consider using blackout curtains and white noise machines if necessary. Also remove any lights which are blue, green or white in tone as these interfere with their circadian rhythm and melatonin production. Use a red light if you would like to use a night light.
Monitor Diet: Avoid giving your child caffeine or sugary snacks in the evening. Offer a light, healthy snack if your child is hungry before bed. And during the day, ensure your child is receiving the right sleep supportive nutrients, such as iron, protein, zinc, magnesium and carbohydrates. You can gain access to my free Nutrition Guide:
If delayed sleep onset persists despite trying these strategies, I recommend a one on one consultation, where I can identify any underlying issues impacting the biological ability to sleep, and recommend appropriate treatment. You can view my services here: Services
Alternatively, if you’d like to chat to discuss your situation and learn more about how I can help you, I recommend you book in for a free, no-obligation discovery call
Shereen xx
I'm Shereen Nielsen, a certified Sleep Consultant specialising in infants and children from birth to 15 years old. With over seven years of experience, I've assisted over 4000 families in achieving better sleep. Additionally, I serve as a lecturer and mentor, guiding aspiring sleep consultants on their path to certification through my internationally recognised online Sleep Consultant Course.
Phone: +61419820474
Email: hello@shereennielsen.com
Website: www.shereennielsen.com
Facebook: @shereennielsen.sleepconsultant
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